Oh! Balls.

The most versatile and simple toy that seems to be universal and timeless is the ball.  Today it seems as though it will be ball!  No seriously, the little one has had endless fun this morning playing with various balls around the house and kitchen. 

We started off with a basket of balls that I try to have ready for her.  Most often we have to hunt and find them from the four corners of the house, under dusty beds and couches.  But, when it's all nice and neat and kept for display, it is always enticing for activity.  I purchased a variety of balls with size, color, and most importantly texture.

Most people think I hate plastics and that I don't have anything like that in the home, NOT true.  To anyone who has been to my house, we do have some plastic toys.  Balls are one of them.  I think it would be pretty difficult to have children throwing wooden balls around the house.  No, no.  The other thing I have been opposed to are light up and sound making toys.  This is generally true. Unless it's a music instrument, there are no electrical noise making toys.  The one light up toy that I okay-ed was one of those hard bouncy balls that light up upon impact that my husband brought home from a work freebie. 

This has been so interesting to see how the little one learned to connect that the ball must be bounced hard for it to light up.  Simply rolling it does not turn it on.  She also discovered today that the effects of the lights are much brighter if she can squeeze between the couch and the computer table to the dark little corner, and then try to crawl behind the sofa.  It's amazing to see the brain making these connections right in front of you. 

Sorry for the fuzzy photo, but a moving child and light up ball on a cloudy day is hard to get.

Besides the plastic balls, we also have these pegs.  I bought them for my older daughter for her second Christmas, but at the time was looking for small pegs and wooden board similar to Cribbage Unfortunately I couldn't find one that wasn't the actual game, or a simple version of it.  I just wanted her to have the activity of putting the pegs into the holes. I saw that this activity was interesting to her whenever she helped my husband build any of the IKEA furniture.  He would have her insert the pegs into the little holes and then they would assemble the furniture together.  So, I found this game instead.  I do like it.  I does have some purposeful activities besides what I had wanted.  The pegs are also stack-able and you can then have them place them in rows of colors and such.  Now, I find that this is good for the little one, as the pegs are big and easy to grasp and not much of a choking hazard (One day I will also write about this).

 Here, I placed the pegs in the board and she mostly took them all out.  Below, she is trying to place them on top of each other. 

We also started on our tomato seeds from tomato fest.  I have been using their seeds for the last 3 years and have been so happy with each and every variety.  I think I have some 30 or more varieties by now, no I think it's more like 40.  This year, mostly a new batch with a repeat all time favorite of everyone's- the Black Cherry tomato.  I'm trying to be more organized and efficient, and with my helper who is now on her 3rd year of helping has really learned the ropes, it makes it a lot more fun, more work, but more fun. 

Also, in the greenhouse are some watermelon seeds, various cucumber seeds, some Thai and Chinese long beans, and colorful Asian eggplants.  We've had an unusual amount of rain over the last two days including hail, so I'm hoping that my newly sprouted radishes, and carrots will survive.  Also in the beds are Rainbow corn, and some Lemon Sunflowers.  The 3 year old had a blast gardening in her undies and planting almost all the corn seedlings from the nursery.  She dug the holes, loosened the root ball and then covered it back up.  I was so happy to see that she is now able to do this on her own and that the plants will survive!

Gardening and Camping

The past two weekends have been a rush of outdoor activities.  Last weekend we had our friends over for an annual (since it's our second time) gardening event.  We expanded the yard with boxes, pulled out the rusted rose bushes, and got a few seedlings in the ground.  With all the new babies and growing kids, it was a rush of activity and LOADS of fun.

 Making homemade finger paint for the kids.

 The garden "To Do" list.  Still lots to do.

 Next year, we may need an adult size wheelbarrow.

 Before, or in the process of.

 After, and still more to come.

The beets that got pulled out to make room for the beds.  Not fully grown, so slightly on the bitter side.  Golden Beets and Chioggia.

This past weekend, we went camping with some friends for two nights.  Our departure times was quite a few hours later than planned which left us with cranky kids while packing, cranky parents trying to pack, a tired family heading on the road at 4 pm on a Friday, and getting to the campsite just before sunset, only to have to unpack and get kids fed ASAP before the freezing weather set in.

This had to be one of the more memorable and miserable trips we've had in the recent years.  Memorable since the kids had so much fun, on their bikes, hiking, and playing in "the wild".  The set up their own fort/camp just behind our campsite in the bushes under some old oaks.  They ran around getting ready to build campfires and have their own adventures.  It was about 10 minutes after they left their "wild" that we heard the cracking of a branch and about 30 seconds later a HUGE limb of an old oak came crashing down 10 feet from where the kids had been.  Well, what can I say.

 Hiding in the "wild"

 See that giant limb on the ground to the left, that's what fell.  See the sprigs of a bush on the right, that's from the picture above where they were hiding under.

California lilac bush that blooms this time of year.  Just gorgeous!

The misery came at night.  The cold was tolerable wearing 3 layers of clothes and 2 jackets, a hat, gloves, and 2 pairs of socks including Himalayan yak wool ones from India.   But no, this is not what was truly miserable.  It was my 1 year old who decided she wanted to nurse about every hour and screamed so loud the entire campground could hear her.  Since we only took our sleeping bags and lots o blankets for under, inside, and 1 for baby and me to go over, she was nice and toasty.  I on the other hand, had only my feet tucked into the sleeping bag and the rest hanging out.  Getting the top half of my clothes partially off to nurse her every hour and then have to get it all back on and tucked in to keep warm all took approximately an hour, so as you can do the math, I would just about fall asleep when she was about ready to be at it again.  2 nights of this and I was about to go insane.  The day time, on the other hand, made up for it all, and I suppose I'm ready to do it all over again in a few months, like in April, oh wait, that's next month.

 A mix of greens from our garden and homemade anchovy dressing, my new addiction.

Refreshed!

Last weekend I attended the AMI Montessori refresher course in Forth Worth.  It has been 5 years since I last attended one, and that one being my first since I received my diploma in 2005.  I truly was refreshed and back to the enthusiasm and energy that I had while taking the training.  Each day was filled with information that we already knew, but a new way in which to look at it, and implement it in the classroom.  For me, I took it as how I can implement this in my home and maintain the right attitude with my children.

The topic or theme for this year was about the formation of the human personality.  It was so beautiful and meaningful and I had a moment on Sunday when we were discussing the vital aspect of the outdoor activities and cooking that it made me so happy.  I had a moment of pure joy when I realized that who I am and what I do are one.  I suppose this makes my job easier :)  My two personal loves; nature and food are integral aspects of the Montessori environment besides the material.  I hope that I am able to provide for my children at home what they may or may not get at school. 

 Working in the garden

Helping mix and make burgers for dinner.

Many people have asked me what makes Montessori education different than traditional schools.  It's not something that was easy for me to respond with but the word that was used a lot over the weekend was RESPECT.  It sounds harsh to say that schools and teachers don't have respect for children and only Montessori schools do.  This is not true.  I have many great friends who are teachers, and I know what an amazing job they do.  The difference though is that the Montessori environment itself respects the natural tendencies and psychological developments of the child; and that in itself is respectful to the child.  It is something that is unsaid and unseen.  It is a natural flow that the adult and the environment present to the child.  This is why there must be a properly trained adult who is able to observe the needs of the child without judgement or reservation.  The needs of the child outweigh the needs of the adult or the school.  The needs of the community outweigh the needs of a single child.  These are all very delicate and interlaced and built up in steps and stages through the varying developmental stages of the child.  Each child learns that they are then part of a greater community and one must work towards "social cohesion". 

This is one of my favorite aspects of the Montessori classroom as well.  Nothing is mine, everything is ours.  There is only one of everything and each child learns to care for it as it is shared by the community.  They also learn to wait, if something is in use.  This is something we are striving very hard to maintain in our home.  Although, we have to set limits and boundaries with electronics and such.  A 3 year old is fast to pick up on "ours" to mean that they can also use the computer.  So, there are sets of rules that only adults use certain things in the house, but it is for all the adults.  With freedom comes responsibility, and freedom must be regulated initially so that the responsibility is not overwhelming to a child.  They can only handle so much, so we must protect them and give them only as much as they can handle.  This is also where limited choices comes in.  Many people think I'm strict or that I don't allow my kids to choose, but in fact it's the opposite.  I want them to have the ability to make decisions for themselves, but for the young child endless choices are too difficult.  Narrowing it down to 2 or 3 give them freedom to choose with limits that they can comprehend. 

I have so much more to share, but I must get back to organizing this house.  I'm so excited for Spring and Summer gardening as we are expanding and trying out new things.  We've been pretty busy the last few months getting ready.  I hope to post more frequently, but that seems to be what I say each time I get on here.  Well until next time.

 Homemade gluten free pizza with arugula from the garden.

 Paella with friends to celebrate new beginnings.

Crema Catalan (aka flan) made with steeped orange zest and cinnamon.

Guilty Amnesia

Once again I'm up since 2 am and unable to get back to sleep.  Mostly, it's thinking about yesterday and now feeling guilty how it turned out.  This is normal for me.  I don't know about you, but somehow guilt is the engine that seems to drive me, and I'm not saying that it's in a forward motion at all, nor do I think it's healthy.  Why is this?  Why is it that as women we feel guilty about everything we do?  Why is it men don't seem to show an ounce of it, and can't comprehend why we even feel guilty about the things we do?  Well, I don't know, but I'm fed up of it.

You see, no one ever tells you how hard it is to have a family.  We all say how great it is, and how it changes your life, and the love of a child is immeasurable.  Yes, these are all true, but it's only as time goes on do you come to terms with the daily challenges that comes about as well.  The life you once knew is gone.  Not only are some of us ill fated to be scared and marked up and stretched out like dough on a pasta roller, but then we are also subjected to the emotional imbalance and turmoil of juggling our own needs with those of the family.  Yes, you see, these are things that our mothers fail to tell us.  Maybe it's intentionally, or maybe it's amnesia.  I'm not sure which one it is.  Somehow both our mothers only remember the good, and they seem to find  humor in moments that led to grey hair.

I'm guessing it's like childbirth, once you're done with it, you forget about it.  This is probably why only women can give birth.  Men, would figure out how outsource it.  No, I'm not upset with my husband for anything particular right now, just noticing the differences in attitude.

I'm not sure how your house runs, but it seems like between a 3 year old and a 8 month old, it's a daily routine of crying and shouting, and that includes me in this mix.  I try to find ways to approach this from my wonderful Montessori training, redirecting, asking why, being firm but loving, giving limited choices, allowing her the time and space to calm down, taking time for myself to calm down.  It goes on, but you see, this doesn't last past 10 am sometimes (if not in school).  Getting through the day requires high doses of caffeine, sugar, and a 30 minute "escape" into the media world while they are napping (if that happens).

So, why is this so difficult.  I have realized that 80% of it is lifestyle choices.  Yes, I will admit to this.  It's from the choice to do cloth diapers, to drying them on the line, from not having a TV to put them in front of so I can shower or cook, from 90% home cooked meals to home made baby food, from allowing the children to feed themselves followed by the giant mess that's left, from working with them to clean up and help with household chores, from not having a play pen or a bouncy chair or a crib, from not using a pacifier, and from choosing to breastfeed for 16-18 months which leaves you with interrupted sleep.  Yes, I could easily help myself by changing a few things here and there, and we have embraced disposables when traveling with the second child.  This is not a list that I ever saw myself doing.  I didn't think I'd be so granola about having kids, but somewhere along the lines, I made these choices, and now I'm having to deal with it.  Yet, I can't seem to give them up either.  I think that's where the guilt comes in.  The guilt of not doing these things seem to outweigh giving them up.  Why is that? I attest it to being an Asian catholic woman.  Yeah, that's it, a full fledged dose of all kinds of guilt with a side of extra guilt in case you forget.

Well, I suppose like any 12 step program acceptance is the first to the road of healing.  So, I accept my bullshit list of choices I have made.  I accept they bring me more grief than necessary.  I do not judge anyone for doing what they do to get through the day or life.  I wish I had time to get to the gym, or wax my legs, or shower more often.  I wish I knew how to be happy with the choices I have made and not feel as they are a burden that has been imposed on me.

There is one rule by which I stand.  I do not wish to be a supermom, I do not wish to do all the chores myself, I'm totally fine with letting my husband have his way in cleaning or whatever it is.  I have no desire to do it all myself, oh no!  I'm not one of those woman who gets to do my hair and make up and show up on time looking like a million bucks after reorganizing the entire house and making a home made meal dressed like a diva.  No way.  I'm not a gym mom.  I'm not a soccer mom.  I'm not a lot of things.

My new year's resolution for the last two years has been "do less".  Yes, that's right, I want to do less, and live more.  You may think that's a contradiction, but not for me.  I never wanted to be a crafty person, in fact the thought of it still drives me nuts.  However, I'm frugal and hate the idea of wasting.  In the above mentioned list, I have taken on crafty things as a way to escape as well.  I've found this to be relaxing and a way in which I can remain in my house, but escape my mind.  So, yes, I supposed I'm doing more than I have before, but it's not for the reasons of doing, but being instead.  

I'm not sure how to escape the guilt, and I'm not sure I ever will, but I once read an article that said we should treat ourselves well once in a while.  Yes, and for this I have allowed myself a once in a while massage to relax.  I'm still cashing in on backlogged gifts so I'm very thankful for them.  It is an hour escape every 3-6 months, but oh how glorious it is.  I like the airplane metaphor for mothering "put on your oxygen mask before helping your child".  This is undoubtedly true.  What good are we to these children if we don't take care of ourselves, and by this I mean our emotional and mental health.  Being a basket case or a bundle of tightly wound up raging emotions is not good for any of us, and the worst is if my children remember me this way as part of their childhood.

Well what's a girl to do?  Grow up.  Stop being a girl and become a mother.







A few pictures of what keeps us together and crazy!

 Roasting beef bones to make home-made beef broth.  A 2 day process.

 A children's apron as a gift to her school fro her birthday.

 Playing in the mud which helps their senses and wonder.

 Prepping seed trays for fall gardening.

Making a roast chicken in the crock pot and then making broth with cubes of it for baby.

Fall Harvest

I'm not quite prepared to make a new post, but since I had an unexpected few minutes at the computer, I figured I'd at least post some pictures and get the momentum back for blogging and gardening.

I had many aspirations for this summers gardening.  Some of it worked out, some of it didn't.  A new baby and all this was quite overwhelming along with guests the entire summer.  No matter, it's all a trial experience and our lives have been filled with jams, breads, herbs, and lots and lots of tomato products.

 Introducing ladybugs into the garden

 Making cherry jam with my mom

Most of the stuff has now been pulled out with a few remaining tomatoes and butternut squash.  Our heirloom varieties provided us with some amazing soup and recently butternut squash risotto with a brown butter sage sauce over it.

The little ones have been enjoying the "veggies" of our labor and it has been comforting to know that we can eat it right out of the yard not worrying about pesticides and such.  The beauty of our front yard gardening is also that it has brought many of our neighbors over with curiosity and friendship.  Many families stop by to look at the growing crop.  Elderly comment how it reminds them of their youth back in the mid-west farms they grew up on.  And a various neighbors from different countries point and ask in broken English what we are growing, if we eat it, what kind of soil or fertilizer we use, and some others who bring their crop to share with us so we can trade from our gardens.  It's been a rewarding experience for the kids and for us as a family to bring us closer to the community in which we live.

 Love making home-made dough for pizza.

 Our favorites with arugula on top and a fall favorite of figs with caramelized red onion and Gorgonzola .

Ratatouille with all veggies fro the garden.

I have great aspirations for this upcoming fall/winter season after purchasing 20 or so packets of seeds from Baker Creek.  Rare beets and carrots of various shapes and colors, greens and lettuces dating back to Jefferson and kings in France.  I just hope it will work.

Anyway, baby is awakening so I will sign off.  I hope to resume both this and my other blog soon.  I'm excited about the new group I hope to participate in Food Swapping that seems to be a growing movement nation wide.

 The purple Inca corn

 Mammoth sunflowers over 7 feet tall.

 Butternut squash

 Amarillo de Oro melons

 typical evening harvest.