The Montessori Child at School and Home (3-6)

I tried to recap my discussion with parents into their ages, work at school and things they can do at home and things parents can do with their children.  This is really brief and a bit all over, but I hope it can help.

Breakdown of the Primary 3 year cycle in development, abilities, and capabilities.
1st year: (2.5- 4 years)

• Allow them to do more at home: chores, getting dressed, helping out, cooking, cleaning,
• Read with them and read at higher levels
• Don't interrupt focus and concentration
• Help them develop confidence- key to focus, concentration, and good work habits
• Children are able to play alone at home and give parents time to work and do adult chores.  They need to become aware of patience.
• They are being exposed to the sounds, and possibly the 1-10 quantities and symbols
• As they are closer to 4 they will be introduced to larger quantities and the decimal system possibly with addition
• Depending on the child they will be exposed to the sounds and the cursive letters that correspond. We introduce writing before reading in Montessori.
• We help them refine their large and fine motor skills especially their dexterity in the fingers and wrist- it's a preparation for writing. (At home: work with flour to make dough, very different skill than play-dough).
• We also help them inhibit their movements by teaching them control and coordination.  This helps them with self control.

2nd year: (4-5 years)

• They are internalizing their work, don't push
• May not be as focused at school, but they are learning from the others
• Quantities, number symbols, large quantities, addition, and possibly subtraction will be introduced (depending on the child).
• There is a lot of repetition, this helps "incarnate" their knowledge.  The repetition and the material gives them a firm grasp of the concepts so that once the next lesson is given, they are ready.
• They will be working with the golden beads for a long time, maps, and other sensorial/ exploration work.
• The moveable alphabet and beginning of writing is introduced along with phonograms (2 sounds creating a third "ch")
• many are straddling the younger years with the readiness for maturity
• Allow for independence
• Introduce them to the concept of consequences and follow through
• Implement chores, rules, and agreed upon consequences before incidents occur
• Read with them and help them recognize their sounds and numbers (when presented)
• Help them become patient and understanding by not giving into them or turning to them when they demand your attention
• Start game nights, family outings, family dinners and cooking

3rd year: (mostly ages 5+)

• Be consistent on your "rules"
• Invite children to come up with family chores, rules, grocery lists, and also their own consequences
• Begin to enforce patience by setting timers, or giving timelines. Reinforce them and make sure they know it or understand it before walking away.
• Needs vs. privileges: help them understand basic needs and what they are privileged with in their lives. 
• Consequences can be certain privileges being taken away- they must know this before.  Do not react, but enforce prior discussions.
• Limit media to weekends and even then to an hour or less
• Read higher levels, chapter books and help them build vocabulary
• Read and then ask questions about content.
• Parents can take turns spending time with individual children and ask them what they'd like to do, spend time to get to know your child
• This is the year of leadership in the environment, they blossom and it's sudden.  Once they are on a path of abstraction (less materials), they move quickly.
• Children are ready for larger questions to be answered, very curious, very scientific, showing readiness for cosmic education/ Elementary
• Children will be exposed to addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division.

Regarding media:  I strongly urge you all to put it away and allow it on occasion.  It is EXTREMELY evident who watches TV and also when they watch it in the morning.  It is a huge distraction in their mind and their focus and concentration on the materials are lost.  If media is not good for a developed adult brain, think of what damage it is causing the young developing brain. 

 Chores, refining fine motor skills, helping out at home.

 Experiencing nature, and playing on their own, time to think and be creative

 Writing before reading. Children write with the moveable alphabet

 100 board.  Children practice the sequence of 1-100  and explore by learning patterns in numbers.

 Helping prepare a classroom meal by peeling garlic. Refining fine motor skills and contributing to the community.

 Controlling their impulses by observing a friend with hands behind their back.

 Associating quantities of the decimal system with their symbols

 Working with flour and dough at home for refining fine motor skills and helping with chores.

 Counting 1-10 and associating a quantity with it.

A very young 3 year old refining his motor skills with nuts and bolts.

"What is Montessori?" 2.0 - Practical Living

If you have heard of Montessori, you probably know some terminology.  One of the more frequent terms is "practical life," referring to a set of materials and exercises in the primary and toddler classrooms.  It is one of the more difficult areas for a parent to grasp,  and one of the more important areas for a child to master.  So, why is it there?

Dr. Montessori observed that the daily activities- ones that we as adults see as a chore, are the most beneficial, crucial, and most interesting activities for a child.  The fundamentals of taking care of oneself, the immediate environment and the greater one, cooking, cleaning, moving, not moving, the basic "how to's" are what a child craved.  These activities not only mimicked adult movements but they also had a deep history that was part of the human culture as we evolved to becoming independent.  What was once in a home, became obsolete as people moved into cities.  Over the past century it has only become worse as more and more "conveniences" in the form of electronics and technology have become part of our everyday living.  It helps an adult become more efficient, but it denies the child the opportunity to learn the fundamentals.  Practical Life, therefore, is one of the most important areas and is one of the first areas introduced to a child in the classroom.

What about the home?  In a home, until recently, all that was available to a child was practical life exercises.  If we allow our children to participate in the daily tasks of maintaining and assisting in the home and family life, we give them the opportunity to master these skills.  From eating by themselves, changing their own clothes, helping with dishes or laundry, folding clothes, making the bed, etc, a child masters his own body and is able to function in a mini-society.

As these things are fully available to every child, and for the most part free, somehow, this is still denied, belittled, or seen as a hindrance to the adult's pace of living, or as a potential hazard.  Instead, cognitive activities, flash cards, electronics, and other such "task oriented" things are placed before the child believing it will aid the child's development far greater than simple home chores.  As challenging as it is to incorporate the pace of the child, if we see it as a benefit to them rather than a hindrance to us, we can approach this with a better view and attitude.  All research new and 100 years ago points to the benefits of working with the hand.  So, before we give them something for their minds, let's give it to their hands, as this is the only and most important way it will embed in their minds.


I had meant for this to be a post of images, but alas I got carried away with text.  So, instead of going on, here are some of our daily activities which are not given as lessons, but as part of everyday living.

For more check out kids in the kitchen, and Road to Independence. 
Also, check out The Full Montessori's post on how to LIVE Montessori.  She does an excellent job explaining the developmental planes a child is going through at the 0-6 stage. 

 gardening

 cooking

 saving seeds

 hanging up laundry- cleaning rags. 

 washing their muddy shoes

 washing dishes

 Lots and lots of gardening

 choosing, and packing their clothes and toys before a trip

  concentration

 helping put clothes in the washer

 loading the dishwasher

multi-tasking.  Cleaning and caring for friends.

Shared on: More the Merrier Mondays, Eco-Kids Tuesday, Tuesdays with a Twist,  wildcrafting wednesday, Wildlife Wednesday, simple lives thursdays, HomeAcre Hop,  small footprint family, Friday Nature Table, fresh eggs daily, Transformation Thursday, Thrifty Home,  Fresh Bites Friday, Wednesday Fresh Food,  Sunday Parenting Party, hip homeschool moms,  No Time for Flash Cards, Living Green Tuesday, Montessori Monday, Farm Girl Blog Fest,  Food Renegade, Eat Make Grow, Saturday Show and Tell, Kids in the Kitchen, Learning for Life, Mums Make Lists, It's Playtime,  All Year Round Blog Carnival, Outdoor Play Party,

The Road to Independence

Independence is a word many parents adopt into their vocabulary early on.  From the start we all want to help our children become "more independent".   Independence, however, is not given or earned, it is a quest of the human condition.  Dr. Montessori stated that Independence is psychological and biological.  Therefore, as parents and caregivers to these human beings that are newly entering the world, we must respect that need for independence and allow the child to come to his/her full potential.

We do what we can with what we have (financially and with physical space). We didn't have everything we wanted for our first, we accumulated items along the way, and have a wish list that we ask our family to consider for birthdays and holidays.


Here are some ideas on helping your child become more independent based on things that have worked for us:

* Have all items they will need in a low shelf so that they can help set the table, get their bowls, plates, spoons, cups, on their own.

* Use real plates, glasses, cups with handles, forks, etc that are child size so they can feel a part of the family and learn good manners along they way rather than struggling it with it later.

*Keep a routine (vs. a schedule).  A routine will help a child know what comes next.  Keeping to the same order of things at each meal, cleanup, getting ready for bed, making the bed, getting dressed, etc, will allow them to repeat the same actions over and over thus perfecting that skill.

* Start with small and basic steps.  When helping a newly walking child clean up, give them the spoon or fork to take to the kitchen.  When they have mastered that, they can then take the cup, and once that is mastered, they can add on carrying the plate, and disposing of the remnants in the trash.  (This is a larger topic which I will expand upon in part 2)

* Set up the child's room so that they know where their things are.  Keep all clothes in low shelves so they can pick out their clothes and dress themselves.  Both my children (very strong willed), loved to pick out their clothes and get dressed by  18 months.  It tries my patience frequently at their choices of attire, but in allowing them the freedom to choose and become independent, I must let them make those choices which are also times they can learn a lesson from- like wearing not enough clothing on a cold day.

 I had hoped to make picture labels for each cubby, but within 2 weeks both children by 18 months knew which drawer had what clothes.  At first the entire thing was for my older daughter, now the top is hers and the bottom is for the little on.

*Washing hands and blowing noses.  Early on, as soon as they start eating, carry your child to the sink and wash their hands.  The routine and consistency of washing their hands in water will help them to have control and independence to do it on their own when they start to walk and are able to get to a sink on their own. Think of it as saving the environment from all those wipes.

 I realized my mistake when I took this picture.  For months we've had a small bar of soap, but recently, we put this giant one and the little one had such a difficult time holding this.  The hotel bars are perfect for them. We also prefer bars of soap over liquid.  Less waste.

*Have appropriate size stools or step stools so children can reach up to wash hands, brush teeth, and help out at the counter.  Do not put their dishes up high and have them climb up, instead move the dishes lower so they can hold them while having two feet firmly on the ground.  

These chairs are great for them to be able to get up and down on their own when sitting at the dining table.

*Give children the opportunity to help in the kitchen to prepare food, set the table, and cleanup all areas of the house.  Having child-size brooms, dustpans and such will enable them to be successful.

*One ability must be mastered before being challenged with a new one. Challenges not obstacles was a constant reminder to us when taking the course.  When challenged there is a new skill to be learned.  When an something becomes an obstacle, we tend to give up or feel inadequate. Mastery of a skill will help the child feel confident so that they can readily acquire new skills.  

* We cannot expect children to know what to do just by telling them.  We must demonstrate, even if it means letting go of control, and slowing down to a pace that is comprehensible to them.

*Practice a task yourself putting yourself in  your child's shoes.  This will help you to know how to present the activity to your child.  When carrying a glass, use two hands holding it carefully and walking slowly.  Children will imitate this behavior and you can encourage them to walk slowly so they can be successful by not dropping it.

Most of all, be patient and slow down.  Life is difficult for us as adults, having children adapt to a grownup world is challenging for them, so it's up to us to sometimes change our world to adapt to their needs.

Also check out cooking with kids for ideas in the kitchen and with food prep, and freedom and discipline on the importance of responsibilities which ultimately lead to independence.


Shared on: hiphomeschoolmoms, smallfootprintfamily. Sunday Parenting Party, fresh eggs daily, Kids in the Kitchen,  mums make lists,
Living Montessori Now

Kids on the GO!

I often wonder how other mother's do it.  They seem to have time to be dressed beautifully, have all their stuff in toe, and be happy (or appear to be).  Now, I'm fully aware that that's my perception and it's hard on us all.  I wonder what it's like at home for other mothers.  I often hear, "oh it's too hard, so we're always out," or "yes, that's why we try to keep busy and stay out of the house."  Hmmm....  This has had me thinking, and re-thinking over the years.  This was something that came up with the first and now again with the second.  I tried for a short time to pack up and get out of the house as often with my oldest.  Now with the second, it's less likely since we have to go pick up the other one from school mid-day.  So, this is my schedule but I kept thinking there's more to this.  Why am I so hesitant to do this? Why does this NOT fit my life-style?  What is it that's preventing me from being a "park/playground mom"?

Over the past few weeks I've been taking myself out of being "me" and being tied down the the "drudgery" that I've felt in our daily activities.   I've tried to look at it in another perspective and in the last two days it hit me, or rather I reminded myself why I'm doing what I'm doing.  Yes, there was a reason I didn't think I was going to send my kids to the Toddler class.  I was home, so I was going to do these things myself.  I was going to show them how to eat at a table, sit down when eating, clean up, put their shoes on, help them become toilet-trained, help them get dressed, help them learn how a home functions, and how to function in society.  Aha! Eureka.

So, why do I stay at home and not roam all over town to a new park each day.  Well, we try to get out, to go to a museum, to go on a hike, to play at the beach, or visit the library, and lots of trips to various grocery stores.  However, there is a very crucial stage in which children need to be at home or a home-like environment which provides the necessary activities to become independent.  They need to be comfortable and know where things are.  If their environments are to be changing daily there is no structure and therefore no routine.  Children like to have order and they actually crave it.  They like to know where their things are and where things belong.  They like to know what is expected of them, to have a routine, to have some discipline (see freedom and discipline ), and to become confident in that environment.  Many changes and constant change sometimes leave children lacking confidence in their environment and therefore their abilities.   It is the age before 2-2 1/2 that we must provide structure so that as they grow older they can become accustomed to changes since they become confident in who they are and what they are capable of. 

I'm not saying that we must be locked up in our homes and stay here all the time.  Not at all.  Children should become part of our daily lives and activities. They should go to the grocery store and see the things we buy for our meals, they should become part of that process and allowed to help.  They should go to the library and pick out their books and hand the library card and put the return books in the bin.  All these things I hope to discuss in another post I've been working on.  We need to help children become part of a daily routine which is meaningful to them.

However, instead of constantly taking children to the playground, park, children's museums, jump houses, aka child-oriented activities solely, we deny them of the opportunity to learn and grow.  All of a sudden as they age, we expect them to know how to put their clothes on and to be toilet-trained but never giving them the opportunities along the way to develop these skills slowly.  Toilet training should not happen in a week or so, it is a gradual process and one that requires clean up, knowing how to change out of wet clothes, put them into something, and to find new clothes to change into.  All these things must also be ready and in a place where they have access to.  Now, as I write this, we have been having lots of misses and also lots of successes. I'm still in the process of setting up the little one's environment. 

 

Changing underwear

The stable home environment (or daycare/preschool) allows children to be active and productive if it is set up in such a way.  They can explore and discover many new things, and they can exercise their skills consistently.  Knowing that they must sit down to eat a meal, clean up, wipe up, sweep, carry dishes to the sink, or dishwasher; these are all things you can do in a stable environment and not in a park.  Often when we are out, foods are finger foods, hands are not washed, utensils are not used, and dishes are plastic bowls or sippy cups. This will happen, this happens when you have a picnic, and that's great, it's healthy to get out and to do something different, but for this to be a daily routine is not helping children develop proper habits.  Prior to the age of 2, food plays a central role in their lives.  It provides for many sensory experiences.  I loved Michael Pollen's statement when he said that what distinguishes humans from animals is that we eat food, and not feed.  There is a social aspect to food beyond the need to fill our stomachs.  Children go home for lunch, or mostly eat at home.  Eating in public spaces is not a very common thing in most cultures either.  The idea of fast food, and eating on the go is predominant an American thing, but now we've just adapted it to eating "healthy" food on the go; juice boxes, milk boxes, goldfish, carrot sticks, string cheese, etc,

Cleaning up and taking care of an environment, knowing to put away and to put things where they belong, knowing to care for yourself, your appearance, your hygiene; these are all things that are best done at home.  A 5 year old who is put on a changing table in a public restroom is not something you will see in the rest of the world.  We have been staying home mostly these days as the little one (20 months) has been wanting to use the toilet.  Mostly we have misses, but on a day like today, there's been a lot of positive results as well.  It's never consistent, and as difficult as it is for me, I have to do it.  The loads mounds of laundry are unbelievable.  The cloth diapers she once used are now used to clean up the floor.  We're going through underwear sometimes 3 in an hour.  We also decided to stop using a diaper on the older one (4) 2 months ago.  So, we are also dealing with night time bed wetting with sheets, down comforters, and pillows being washed daily.  My mornings are spent running out to the garage and in the back yard to hang up the loads and loads so that it will be dry by evening.  Yes, to add to the stress, we do hang the laundry out to dry.  We use the dryer about 4 months out of the year in the winter months when there is little to no sun in the backyard.

By no means is this madness for all, but there is a reason why we do what we do.  Again, I will address sustainable living in another post.  However, as a society, all we are teaching our children is to become individuals on the go.  When we do that, we are also teaching them to use more resources than necessary.  Even a young child uses more resources than they should.  When everything in our lives become disposable we prevent children from seeing the value in things. 

It is hard, it is beyond hard to sit patiently while they take 5-7 minutes to put on their shoes, but by no means does this mean I sit an watch or "police" them in how to do it.  We do it together.  I have little to no time for myself because each activity provides for an opportunity to learn.  Not always, as is the case now, she is happily playing with her doll and feeding it and swaddling it.  She has kept herself entertained opening and closing some boxes and bottles, cleaned it up and put it away, to then move on to another activity of putting her doll to sleep.

The entire day cannot be spent taking forever for children to do things on their own time. Of course not, we'd never get anywhere.  But, when we do have the time, it's best to show them how to do things even if it's one or two things a day.  Even if you're a working parent who has to be out the door early, we can still take our time for one thing and help them to learn that one thing for a week or two and then change it.  They don't have to learn it perfectly, after all what does that mean?  perfect only means for them to be able to do it on their own, it means giving them the opportunity to repeat, repeat, repeat.  If we constantly dress them, eventually they will learn to believe that they do not know how to do it and so will just stand and wait for you to do it.

Steps and Stages:  Help children in small steps. As young as 15-18 months, let children do 1 or two things and then gradually help them build up.  Show them how to do something and then allow them to do it as they can, but be mindful in how many steps it takes.  The fewer the better. 

When my older daughter was about 2 she insisted on picking out all her clothes.  OH MY!  I'm so glad we took lots of photos, but how adorable to see her in a skirt, pants, unmatching shirt and something else random.  When she started school the teachers asked us if she dressed herself as it was quite obvious.  Now almost 2 years later, she picks out her clothes at night and sets them out to dress in the morning.  It's not always smooth and there are arguments, and whines not wanting to get ready quickly, etc etc.

As I said, I will write a separate post soon about what we do at home and how our home is set up.  I hope this explains a little bit about why we don't spend our days out all the time.

When my first child was born, one of the first things my mom said was how her mother said, 'Children love to be at home'.  I thought she was crazy.  Over the years I see how my children love to stay home and play, they love to play with all the tupperware, my shoes, put random stuff in a push cart and go in circles, take all the plates and cups and have a "tea party" in the middle of the floor.  When we come back from a trip, no matter what time even late at night, they perk up and go running around looking at all their things. 

So, in my experience, and for my kids, they love being at home at certain times, and then there are times we like to go out.  This is our family, of course yours is different, so we look forward to hearing what you do and how you spend your days.  I love to get ideas from other moms and especially from other blogs. It's an ever evolving philosophy and way of living.

Shared on: honeyscreativehomemaking. ,
Small Footprint Family
Sunday Parenting Party
Mums Make Lists
HomeAcre Hop