The Importance of Practical Life.

I was talking to my daughter this morning as she was grumbling and having a fit about being too tired to put on her clothes by herself for school. In somewhat of a rant and lecture, I went off on her about how she has to stop saying "it's too hard" and "I can't do it". I kept telling her that she can, and she has to and that no one will help her if she can't help herself.  It was something that I thought important enough to write down.

I said, "You can do anything you want, you can build a plane, you can fix a house, you can do anything you want if you just tell yourself "I can".  But first, you need to learn how to dress yourself and get yourself ready for the day.  If you can do this by yourself, then you will learn to do anything on your own."

After thinking about it for a short time I realized, ah, yes, this is why Practical Life is so important in the Montessori environment.  This is where we give them the tools to do it on their own, the ability to be confident in themselves and their work, to move forward from caring for yourself, to caring for others and the environment.  Being able to care for yourself has more implications in the greater realm of life than we can put down into words.

I have so much more to write about this as I have been documenting in photos all that we do at home and how our home is set up to help them become more independent.  Of course, then we have days like today, where I want to pull out my hair and wonder what is going on that she can't do it on her own when she's been doing it all by herself since she was 18 months.  Well, the answer to that came when I thought, I've been working with 4 year olds for years, but this is my first time parenting one.  This, is completely a different process.  My friend reminded me how at 4 they come to realize they can do so much, ask the most amazing and profound questions, and realize the world is so much bigger than they knew before, and this, this very thing is what makes them come back to you and want to be held and comforted.  In some ways, they are unsure and not quite ready to face it, and rather than pushing them, I need to be encouraging and loving, and go back to the way I am with my little one.  Slow, and small steps. 

Dinner Menu

Over the last month I decided that I was going to try going to the store only once a week and trying to finish up what was in our pantry.  I wanted to figure out a way in which we can use up all the food I have stored in there replenishing only produce and dairy.  The experiment went well for about 2 weeks and then I got really tired of figuring out new things to cook all the time, kids got sick, soup had to be made, meals were eaten out or picked up, I grew tired of figuring it out.

But, it was a good experiment, and I'm still trying to keep it up as much as I can, but maybe not being so hard on myself to do it for every meal, everyday. So, here are some of the things we came up with.  Hope you enjoy, hope it inspires you, and I hope to hear what you are doing for meals as well.

Our Facebook page gets updated often with current meals and quick photos.  Come see what's cooking tonight! 

 Growing mushrooms from Back to Roots

 Pasta with oyster mushrooms (above), shallots, anchovies, olives, with olive oil

 Pan seared Salmon with pomegranate and balsamic. Steamed cauliflower and asparagus

 Roasting squash for soup.

 Gluten free pumpkin and pear pancakes.

 Purple cauliflower, beets, and sweet potatoes.

 Beet cream cheese with cucumbers and olive oil drizzle.

 Salad with radishes, Parmesan cheese, sprouts and warm anchovy dressing.

 Grilled chicken tacos with black bean and corn.

Korean short rip BBQ and Kimchee (purchased), with rice, two types of seaweed, and cucumbers.

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Under the weather foods

As much as I love the cooler weather and the longer nights (mostly because the kids go to bed earlier), I don't like all the viruses that tend to make it's way into our home.  I'm still figuring out lots of the "preventative" remedies and how to boost our immunity, but when anyone in this house gets sick there are 2 things that get made.  1. Soup 2. Tea.  Both these vary each time, but there is something so comforting in soups and teas when you're not feeling well.

Soup

We tend to make either a chicken soup or an ox tail soup.  This time we made a chicken soup with lots of stuff to increase immunity and give us some comfort food.  Once again, the pressure cooker came in handy for this one.  The little one eve tried to chop up carrots and celery.  I like to brown my chicken in some olive oil and garlic before I add the onion, celery and water. I use lots of garlic (about 8-10 cloves, or more).  I also add peppercorns and salt before closing it up for about 30 min.  After the pressure is released, I add the carrots and potatoes.  This time we did a mix of Asian sweet potatoes and Yukon.  I also added a pinch of saffron this time.  After a second round for 15 min, I added zucchini and corn.  I wish I had a can of white beans to have added but since we've switched to dried beans, I wasn't ready for it at the last min.

Other wonderful things to add/ substitute are:
Rosemary (or any herb)
Ginger
Beans
Squash (winter or summer)
Tomatoes
Turnips
Spinach
Rice
etc..

 I added a few tortilla chips to my bowl of soup

Tea

Tea is a staple in this house.  We drink mostly black tea with milk and sugar.  When we get sick we make "herbal" teas with lots and LOTS of honey.  We get our honey in bulk from the farmer's market.  Honey is really used for everything here from waffles and pancakes to oatmeal and just a spoonful (as medicine).

Each time I make a "sick" tea it's different, but in general it consists of either honey and lemon, or honey and ginger; sometimes it's all 3.  This time, I added a few extras to boost immunity and circulation.  This morning's tea consisted of: fresh ginger pressed through a garlic press, orange peel and some orange pieces, cinnamon, clove, and honey.  I pour hot water and let it steep for 5 min at least before drinking.  I think it's best sitting and steeping all day and I top off with hot water as it goes down.  When I run out of fresh ginger we also use candied ginger.  I let the kids have a piece of it now and then also even when we're all healthy

Other things to add/ substitute are:
Candied ginger
Cranberries
Lemon peel/juice
Pomegranate
Coriander seed or leaf
Chamomile flowers (fresh or tea bag)
Cardamon

If you're daring you can try a pinch of chili powder or a slice or two of jalapenos.

Please feel free to share your "sick" foods and teas.  It's always nice to hear other home remedies for feeling better.

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Ox tail soup

One of my favorite soups my mom makes is Ox tail soup.  When I started to make this 10 years ago.  It was a 2 day soup.  It took forever to cook the meat down till it was soft, then I would cool it, skim the fat, then heat it up and add the veggies.

Now, it all takes me under 2 hours.  Why?  Pressure cooking.  My mom has been insisting I use one for years, but this past summer she bought me one for $15 at an estate sale.  It truly is an old fashioned one.  I am learning to love it.  We fixed it up, got a new gasket and, voila, soup, beans, etc, cooked in no time.

Well, my fears of pressure cooking are slowly going away, but in the meantime, I'm able to whip up some of our favorite soup fast even while the meat is bought from the frozen isle.


How to:

Put Ox tail in pressure cooker with water 3/4 way.
Add onion chopped up
peppercorns
large tomato chopped up
salt

Cook for about an hour reducing the fire after the steam comes out.  Turn off fire and wait till pressure has escaped.  (PLEASE, follow the instructions for your pressure cooker).

Add potatoes, carrots, and anything else you might like, and taste for salt.

Cook another 30 min till meat is tender.  Once the steam is released open and add cabbage.  cover and let sit in hot soup for 10-15 min.  No need to cook it.

Serve immediately, or refrigerate and skim off fat. 

My kids love the soup over rice or with buttery toast.  I like small teaspoon of Vegemite or Marmite with my soup.

MMmmmm.. delicious!

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Small Treats!

I'm always curious as to how other families do "treats".  Lately, I feel like it's gotten "out of control" for us.  But, I also realize my oldest is getting to be 4 and the little one for being 20 months has had her fair share of sweets even thought the older one had nothing at that age.  Isn't it always the case?

Anyway, I thought I'd share a few of our  "healthy treats" that I've managed to photograph along the way.  Some have been really fun to do.  And this is a good reminder of a few things I should go back to doing!

 Usually they just have warm milk.  To get all fancy, we froth it and sprinkle cinnamon.  If I really want to spoil them, I put a dash of non-alcoholic Vanilla flavoring (trader joe's brand)

 Home-made fig butter is used for lots of things.  We also add this and other preserves into plain yogurt.

 This was a gluten-free lemon yogurt muffin.

 Watermelon popsicles with blueberries and orange pieces. 

 frozen treats are best!  Avocado and yogurt and then frozen in silicone trays.

 Cooled custard with sprinkle of cinnamon.  Sometimes we bake it in a water bath and add various flavors. I think I have some pictures in other posts.

 Quick frozen yogurt!  Frozen mango, yogurt, honey, and vanilla.

 Zap, and in less than a minute you have this!

 Pumpkin or date bread.  mmm.. molasses.

 These little jewels are so fun and delicious.  Agar agar with fruit and then left to set.

 More fun frozen and gelled treats!

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October = craftiness.

I used to hate crafts. Thought it was pointless and more stuff to clutter. The latter is true. But once you have kids(for me) it became fun. Something I look forward to and spend too much time online searching for ideas. 

So if you were/ are like me and kinda don't know what to do. Here's my list of October fun. Just do 1 a week. That's it. Then you can put it all away.

1. Whip cream/ shaving cream finger paint (with food coloring).

2. Leaf rubbings.

3. Leaf collages/ landscapes/ animals.

4. Pumpkin carving.

5. Go to a craft store and pick up a kit.

6. Paint rocks.

7. Cut out coffee filters in leaf shapes and use watercolors.

8. Bake pumpkin bread/ muffins ( ok that's not a craft but it kinda is).

9. Collect leaves and tape them on your window or wall.

10. Put push pins in shape of spider web and make web with white yarn. Glue a few spiders.

Check out these sites for ideas:
The Artful Parent
Crafty Crow

























image above from: this site

Kids on the GO!

I often wonder how other mother's do it.  They seem to have time to be dressed beautifully, have all their stuff in toe, and be happy (or appear to be).  Now, I'm fully aware that that's my perception and it's hard on us all.  I wonder what it's like at home for other mothers.  I often hear, "oh it's too hard, so we're always out," or "yes, that's why we try to keep busy and stay out of the house."  Hmmm....  This has had me thinking, and re-thinking over the years.  This was something that came up with the first and now again with the second.  I tried for a short time to pack up and get out of the house as often with my oldest.  Now with the second, it's less likely since we have to go pick up the other one from school mid-day.  So, this is my schedule but I kept thinking there's more to this.  Why am I so hesitant to do this? Why does this NOT fit my life-style?  What is it that's preventing me from being a "park/playground mom"?

Over the past few weeks I've been taking myself out of being "me" and being tied down the the "drudgery" that I've felt in our daily activities.   I've tried to look at it in another perspective and in the last two days it hit me, or rather I reminded myself why I'm doing what I'm doing.  Yes, there was a reason I didn't think I was going to send my kids to the Toddler class.  I was home, so I was going to do these things myself.  I was going to show them how to eat at a table, sit down when eating, clean up, put their shoes on, help them become toilet-trained, help them get dressed, help them learn how a home functions, and how to function in society.  Aha! Eureka.

So, why do I stay at home and not roam all over town to a new park each day.  Well, we try to get out, to go to a museum, to go on a hike, to play at the beach, or visit the library, and lots of trips to various grocery stores.  However, there is a very crucial stage in which children need to be at home or a home-like environment which provides the necessary activities to become independent.  They need to be comfortable and know where things are.  If their environments are to be changing daily there is no structure and therefore no routine.  Children like to have order and they actually crave it.  They like to know where their things are and where things belong.  They like to know what is expected of them, to have a routine, to have some discipline (see freedom and discipline ), and to become confident in that environment.  Many changes and constant change sometimes leave children lacking confidence in their environment and therefore their abilities.   It is the age before 2-2 1/2 that we must provide structure so that as they grow older they can become accustomed to changes since they become confident in who they are and what they are capable of. 

I'm not saying that we must be locked up in our homes and stay here all the time.  Not at all.  Children should become part of our daily lives and activities. They should go to the grocery store and see the things we buy for our meals, they should become part of that process and allowed to help.  They should go to the library and pick out their books and hand the library card and put the return books in the bin.  All these things I hope to discuss in another post I've been working on.  We need to help children become part of a daily routine which is meaningful to them.

However, instead of constantly taking children to the playground, park, children's museums, jump houses, aka child-oriented activities solely, we deny them of the opportunity to learn and grow.  All of a sudden as they age, we expect them to know how to put their clothes on and to be toilet-trained but never giving them the opportunities along the way to develop these skills slowly.  Toilet training should not happen in a week or so, it is a gradual process and one that requires clean up, knowing how to change out of wet clothes, put them into something, and to find new clothes to change into.  All these things must also be ready and in a place where they have access to.  Now, as I write this, we have been having lots of misses and also lots of successes. I'm still in the process of setting up the little one's environment. 

 

Changing underwear

The stable home environment (or daycare/preschool) allows children to be active and productive if it is set up in such a way.  They can explore and discover many new things, and they can exercise their skills consistently.  Knowing that they must sit down to eat a meal, clean up, wipe up, sweep, carry dishes to the sink, or dishwasher; these are all things you can do in a stable environment and not in a park.  Often when we are out, foods are finger foods, hands are not washed, utensils are not used, and dishes are plastic bowls or sippy cups. This will happen, this happens when you have a picnic, and that's great, it's healthy to get out and to do something different, but for this to be a daily routine is not helping children develop proper habits.  Prior to the age of 2, food plays a central role in their lives.  It provides for many sensory experiences.  I loved Michael Pollen's statement when he said that what distinguishes humans from animals is that we eat food, and not feed.  There is a social aspect to food beyond the need to fill our stomachs.  Children go home for lunch, or mostly eat at home.  Eating in public spaces is not a very common thing in most cultures either.  The idea of fast food, and eating on the go is predominant an American thing, but now we've just adapted it to eating "healthy" food on the go; juice boxes, milk boxes, goldfish, carrot sticks, string cheese, etc,

Cleaning up and taking care of an environment, knowing to put away and to put things where they belong, knowing to care for yourself, your appearance, your hygiene; these are all things that are best done at home.  A 5 year old who is put on a changing table in a public restroom is not something you will see in the rest of the world.  We have been staying home mostly these days as the little one (20 months) has been wanting to use the toilet.  Mostly we have misses, but on a day like today, there's been a lot of positive results as well.  It's never consistent, and as difficult as it is for me, I have to do it.  The loads mounds of laundry are unbelievable.  The cloth diapers she once used are now used to clean up the floor.  We're going through underwear sometimes 3 in an hour.  We also decided to stop using a diaper on the older one (4) 2 months ago.  So, we are also dealing with night time bed wetting with sheets, down comforters, and pillows being washed daily.  My mornings are spent running out to the garage and in the back yard to hang up the loads and loads so that it will be dry by evening.  Yes, to add to the stress, we do hang the laundry out to dry.  We use the dryer about 4 months out of the year in the winter months when there is little to no sun in the backyard.

By no means is this madness for all, but there is a reason why we do what we do.  Again, I will address sustainable living in another post.  However, as a society, all we are teaching our children is to become individuals on the go.  When we do that, we are also teaching them to use more resources than necessary.  Even a young child uses more resources than they should.  When everything in our lives become disposable we prevent children from seeing the value in things. 

It is hard, it is beyond hard to sit patiently while they take 5-7 minutes to put on their shoes, but by no means does this mean I sit an watch or "police" them in how to do it.  We do it together.  I have little to no time for myself because each activity provides for an opportunity to learn.  Not always, as is the case now, she is happily playing with her doll and feeding it and swaddling it.  She has kept herself entertained opening and closing some boxes and bottles, cleaned it up and put it away, to then move on to another activity of putting her doll to sleep.

The entire day cannot be spent taking forever for children to do things on their own time. Of course not, we'd never get anywhere.  But, when we do have the time, it's best to show them how to do things even if it's one or two things a day.  Even if you're a working parent who has to be out the door early, we can still take our time for one thing and help them to learn that one thing for a week or two and then change it.  They don't have to learn it perfectly, after all what does that mean?  perfect only means for them to be able to do it on their own, it means giving them the opportunity to repeat, repeat, repeat.  If we constantly dress them, eventually they will learn to believe that they do not know how to do it and so will just stand and wait for you to do it.

Steps and Stages:  Help children in small steps. As young as 15-18 months, let children do 1 or two things and then gradually help them build up.  Show them how to do something and then allow them to do it as they can, but be mindful in how many steps it takes.  The fewer the better. 

When my older daughter was about 2 she insisted on picking out all her clothes.  OH MY!  I'm so glad we took lots of photos, but how adorable to see her in a skirt, pants, unmatching shirt and something else random.  When she started school the teachers asked us if she dressed herself as it was quite obvious.  Now almost 2 years later, she picks out her clothes at night and sets them out to dress in the morning.  It's not always smooth and there are arguments, and whines not wanting to get ready quickly, etc etc.

As I said, I will write a separate post soon about what we do at home and how our home is set up.  I hope this explains a little bit about why we don't spend our days out all the time.

When my first child was born, one of the first things my mom said was how her mother said, 'Children love to be at home'.  I thought she was crazy.  Over the years I see how my children love to stay home and play, they love to play with all the tupperware, my shoes, put random stuff in a push cart and go in circles, take all the plates and cups and have a "tea party" in the middle of the floor.  When we come back from a trip, no matter what time even late at night, they perk up and go running around looking at all their things. 

So, in my experience, and for my kids, they love being at home at certain times, and then there are times we like to go out.  This is our family, of course yours is different, so we look forward to hearing what you do and how you spend your days.  I love to get ideas from other moms and especially from other blogs. It's an ever evolving philosophy and way of living.

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