The Road to Independence

Independence is a word many parents adopt into their vocabulary early on.  From the start we all want to help our children become "more independent".   Independence, however, is not given or earned, it is a quest of the human condition.  Dr. Montessori stated that Independence is psychological and biological.  Therefore, as parents and caregivers to these human beings that are newly entering the world, we must respect that need for independence and allow the child to come to his/her full potential.

We do what we can with what we have (financially and with physical space). We didn't have everything we wanted for our first, we accumulated items along the way, and have a wish list that we ask our family to consider for birthdays and holidays.


Here are some ideas on helping your child become more independent based on things that have worked for us:

* Have all items they will need in a low shelf so that they can help set the table, get their bowls, plates, spoons, cups, on their own.

* Use real plates, glasses, cups with handles, forks, etc that are child size so they can feel a part of the family and learn good manners along they way rather than struggling it with it later.

*Keep a routine (vs. a schedule).  A routine will help a child know what comes next.  Keeping to the same order of things at each meal, cleanup, getting ready for bed, making the bed, getting dressed, etc, will allow them to repeat the same actions over and over thus perfecting that skill.

* Start with small and basic steps.  When helping a newly walking child clean up, give them the spoon or fork to take to the kitchen.  When they have mastered that, they can then take the cup, and once that is mastered, they can add on carrying the plate, and disposing of the remnants in the trash.  (This is a larger topic which I will expand upon in part 2)

* Set up the child's room so that they know where their things are.  Keep all clothes in low shelves so they can pick out their clothes and dress themselves.  Both my children (very strong willed), loved to pick out their clothes and get dressed by  18 months.  It tries my patience frequently at their choices of attire, but in allowing them the freedom to choose and become independent, I must let them make those choices which are also times they can learn a lesson from- like wearing not enough clothing on a cold day.

 I had hoped to make picture labels for each cubby, but within 2 weeks both children by 18 months knew which drawer had what clothes.  At first the entire thing was for my older daughter, now the top is hers and the bottom is for the little on.

*Washing hands and blowing noses.  Early on, as soon as they start eating, carry your child to the sink and wash their hands.  The routine and consistency of washing their hands in water will help them to have control and independence to do it on their own when they start to walk and are able to get to a sink on their own. Think of it as saving the environment from all those wipes.

 I realized my mistake when I took this picture.  For months we've had a small bar of soap, but recently, we put this giant one and the little one had such a difficult time holding this.  The hotel bars are perfect for them. We also prefer bars of soap over liquid.  Less waste.

*Have appropriate size stools or step stools so children can reach up to wash hands, brush teeth, and help out at the counter.  Do not put their dishes up high and have them climb up, instead move the dishes lower so they can hold them while having two feet firmly on the ground.  

These chairs are great for them to be able to get up and down on their own when sitting at the dining table.

*Give children the opportunity to help in the kitchen to prepare food, set the table, and cleanup all areas of the house.  Having child-size brooms, dustpans and such will enable them to be successful.

*One ability must be mastered before being challenged with a new one. Challenges not obstacles was a constant reminder to us when taking the course.  When challenged there is a new skill to be learned.  When an something becomes an obstacle, we tend to give up or feel inadequate. Mastery of a skill will help the child feel confident so that they can readily acquire new skills.  

* We cannot expect children to know what to do just by telling them.  We must demonstrate, even if it means letting go of control, and slowing down to a pace that is comprehensible to them.

*Practice a task yourself putting yourself in  your child's shoes.  This will help you to know how to present the activity to your child.  When carrying a glass, use two hands holding it carefully and walking slowly.  Children will imitate this behavior and you can encourage them to walk slowly so they can be successful by not dropping it.

Most of all, be patient and slow down.  Life is difficult for us as adults, having children adapt to a grownup world is challenging for them, so it's up to us to sometimes change our world to adapt to their needs.

Also check out cooking with kids for ideas in the kitchen and with food prep, and freedom and discipline on the importance of responsibilities which ultimately lead to independence.


Shared on: hiphomeschoolmoms, smallfootprintfamily. Sunday Parenting Party, fresh eggs daily, Kids in the Kitchen,  mums make lists,
Living Montessori Now

Giving Thanks, and Feasting.

I might just let the pictures do the talking.  I was inspired by Martha Stewart's magazine, and some from Sunset.  I changed many recipes to make sure they were gluten free.  All except when it came time to making pie crust.  Trader Joe's offered an easy out with ready made crust.  

The last three years have been my turn to make our Thanksgiving meal.  It is the one time of the year my family comes to my house and I get to cook a meal from scratch for everyone.  We keep telling ourselves we're not going to complicate it, but I cannot help but be excited and want to try out a new and different recipe each year.

I had placed a heritage turkey on hold from Whole Foods, but when I got there later in the evening on Wednesday, they had oversold and so I was offered an organic bird and half price.  Well, considering I was going to pay near $80 for a heritage bird, paying significantly less for an organic one sounded like a great deal.  I was disappointed but there's always next year.  

I don't have a picture of the stuffing, but switching bead to quinoa was healthy and tasted ok, but it really would have been much better with bread. 

 Prepping a selection of mushrooms and hazelnuts for our wild-mushroom-leek-and-filbert-dressing

 I used gluten free ladies fingers and amaretti cookies for a tiramisu trifle.

 Rubbing the bird with an herb butter

The cranberry-maple-jelly was amazing.  It didn't set too well in my fish mold.

 

 The creamed onion and sage was delicious but more of an adult taste.  I used a gluten free flour for both this and for the turkey gravy.  I learned a little goes a long way due to the tapioca starch in it. 

 Since I couldn't find delicata squash for this, I simply used acorn squash which was quite tasty.  I also used a combination of prosciutto and bacon.

Cooking such a feast leaves me exhausted since it's a two day job.  However, I'm always thankful to have my family and friends be a part of it.  The joys of making a meal and sharing it with others is something that I have always enjoyed.  Making it from scratch and with wholesome and healthy ingredients while also being mindful of where they come from and how they are grown and processed is making me appreciate everything that I buy and serve my family and friends.  I hope that sharing such an experience will not only enhance our relationships with each other, but also cultivate a better appreciation and gratitude for those who provide our food.  Making this year's thanksgiving a sustainable feast was a challenge that was worth taking on.  It was also a challenge to shop for most things before we left for a trip to Zion and came back with a few hours left on Wed to shop.

As it's been a tradition of ours for 8years now, we participate in a 5K on Thursday morning so that the homeless will have meals throughout the year.  This year there were over 7,000 participants.  Being mindful of what we have as a start to our Thanksgiving day has made the day even more enjoyable.

As I sat in mass today for the first day of Advent, I was reminded that even though Christmas is a season to welcome the new and look forward to the gifts of the new year, it is also a perfect opportunity to take a moment to look back and be grateful for all that the past year has provided for us.  Be it a small gesture, a new adventure, a large gift, or just the new people in our lives, taking the time to appreciate what we have and have had gives as much meaning as looking forward to the new.

It's been difficult to see the positives in my life in the last few weeks, but I took a day to myself yesterday, and simply having time to myself gave me the opportunity to reflect on all that has come to pass this year.  Of all the things I am thankful for, I am (even if I don't seem like it), I am deeply thankful for the time I have with my children at home.  I am thankful that I get to see their smiles, their first words, their joys at learning something new, their hearts being filled with excitement as they discover their abilities, the times we spend cooking and dancing, and even the more dreadful ones like potty training.  It is trying to give of yourself all the time, but I am grateful that these will be my memories of my children.  I struggle with not being fulfilled in my career that has been left on the back burner, but then I realize what greater personal development could I have than watching my own children grow.  Knowing the struggles of parenthood will only aid me once I step back into a classroom.

So, for the light, wisdom, and guidance my children bestow upon me day after day, and with each gray hair I grow and pound I don't shed, I am thankful for a year of love and happiness that I have been surrounded by.  There can be no greater sensation that little giggles and small hands that reach out tenderly, and to have that throughout most of my day- I am thankful.




Shared on:  smallfootprintfamily

The Importance of Practical Life.

I was talking to my daughter this morning as she was grumbling and having a fit about being too tired to put on her clothes by herself for school. In somewhat of a rant and lecture, I went off on her about how she has to stop saying "it's too hard" and "I can't do it". I kept telling her that she can, and she has to and that no one will help her if she can't help herself.  It was something that I thought important enough to write down.

I said, "You can do anything you want, you can build a plane, you can fix a house, you can do anything you want if you just tell yourself "I can".  But first, you need to learn how to dress yourself and get yourself ready for the day.  If you can do this by yourself, then you will learn to do anything on your own."

After thinking about it for a short time I realized, ah, yes, this is why Practical Life is so important in the Montessori environment.  This is where we give them the tools to do it on their own, the ability to be confident in themselves and their work, to move forward from caring for yourself, to caring for others and the environment.  Being able to care for yourself has more implications in the greater realm of life than we can put down into words.

I have so much more to write about this as I have been documenting in photos all that we do at home and how our home is set up to help them become more independent.  Of course, then we have days like today, where I want to pull out my hair and wonder what is going on that she can't do it on her own when she's been doing it all by herself since she was 18 months.  Well, the answer to that came when I thought, I've been working with 4 year olds for years, but this is my first time parenting one.  This, is completely a different process.  My friend reminded me how at 4 they come to realize they can do so much, ask the most amazing and profound questions, and realize the world is so much bigger than they knew before, and this, this very thing is what makes them come back to you and want to be held and comforted.  In some ways, they are unsure and not quite ready to face it, and rather than pushing them, I need to be encouraging and loving, and go back to the way I am with my little one.  Slow, and small steps. 

Dinner Menu

Over the last month I decided that I was going to try going to the store only once a week and trying to finish up what was in our pantry.  I wanted to figure out a way in which we can use up all the food I have stored in there replenishing only produce and dairy.  The experiment went well for about 2 weeks and then I got really tired of figuring out new things to cook all the time, kids got sick, soup had to be made, meals were eaten out or picked up, I grew tired of figuring it out.

But, it was a good experiment, and I'm still trying to keep it up as much as I can, but maybe not being so hard on myself to do it for every meal, everyday. So, here are some of the things we came up with.  Hope you enjoy, hope it inspires you, and I hope to hear what you are doing for meals as well.

Our Facebook page gets updated often with current meals and quick photos.  Come see what's cooking tonight! 

 Growing mushrooms from Back to Roots

 Pasta with oyster mushrooms (above), shallots, anchovies, olives, with olive oil

 Pan seared Salmon with pomegranate and balsamic. Steamed cauliflower and asparagus

 Roasting squash for soup.

 Gluten free pumpkin and pear pancakes.

 Purple cauliflower, beets, and sweet potatoes.

 Beet cream cheese with cucumbers and olive oil drizzle.

 Salad with radishes, Parmesan cheese, sprouts and warm anchovy dressing.

 Grilled chicken tacos with black bean and corn.

Korean short rip BBQ and Kimchee (purchased), with rice, two types of seaweed, and cucumbers.

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Under the weather foods

As much as I love the cooler weather and the longer nights (mostly because the kids go to bed earlier), I don't like all the viruses that tend to make it's way into our home.  I'm still figuring out lots of the "preventative" remedies and how to boost our immunity, but when anyone in this house gets sick there are 2 things that get made.  1. Soup 2. Tea.  Both these vary each time, but there is something so comforting in soups and teas when you're not feeling well.

Soup

We tend to make either a chicken soup or an ox tail soup.  This time we made a chicken soup with lots of stuff to increase immunity and give us some comfort food.  Once again, the pressure cooker came in handy for this one.  The little one eve tried to chop up carrots and celery.  I like to brown my chicken in some olive oil and garlic before I add the onion, celery and water. I use lots of garlic (about 8-10 cloves, or more).  I also add peppercorns and salt before closing it up for about 30 min.  After the pressure is released, I add the carrots and potatoes.  This time we did a mix of Asian sweet potatoes and Yukon.  I also added a pinch of saffron this time.  After a second round for 15 min, I added zucchini and corn.  I wish I had a can of white beans to have added but since we've switched to dried beans, I wasn't ready for it at the last min.

Other wonderful things to add/ substitute are:
Rosemary (or any herb)
Ginger
Beans
Squash (winter or summer)
Tomatoes
Turnips
Spinach
Rice
etc..

 I added a few tortilla chips to my bowl of soup

Tea

Tea is a staple in this house.  We drink mostly black tea with milk and sugar.  When we get sick we make "herbal" teas with lots and LOTS of honey.  We get our honey in bulk from the farmer's market.  Honey is really used for everything here from waffles and pancakes to oatmeal and just a spoonful (as medicine).

Each time I make a "sick" tea it's different, but in general it consists of either honey and lemon, or honey and ginger; sometimes it's all 3.  This time, I added a few extras to boost immunity and circulation.  This morning's tea consisted of: fresh ginger pressed through a garlic press, orange peel and some orange pieces, cinnamon, clove, and honey.  I pour hot water and let it steep for 5 min at least before drinking.  I think it's best sitting and steeping all day and I top off with hot water as it goes down.  When I run out of fresh ginger we also use candied ginger.  I let the kids have a piece of it now and then also even when we're all healthy

Other things to add/ substitute are:
Candied ginger
Cranberries
Lemon peel/juice
Pomegranate
Coriander seed or leaf
Chamomile flowers (fresh or tea bag)
Cardamon

If you're daring you can try a pinch of chili powder or a slice or two of jalapenos.

Please feel free to share your "sick" foods and teas.  It's always nice to hear other home remedies for feeling better.

shared on Small Footprint family, Fresh Eggs Daily,  gnowfglins

Ox tail soup

One of my favorite soups my mom makes is Ox tail soup.  When I started to make this 10 years ago.  It was a 2 day soup.  It took forever to cook the meat down till it was soft, then I would cool it, skim the fat, then heat it up and add the veggies.

Now, it all takes me under 2 hours.  Why?  Pressure cooking.  My mom has been insisting I use one for years, but this past summer she bought me one for $15 at an estate sale.  It truly is an old fashioned one.  I am learning to love it.  We fixed it up, got a new gasket and, voila, soup, beans, etc, cooked in no time.

Well, my fears of pressure cooking are slowly going away, but in the meantime, I'm able to whip up some of our favorite soup fast even while the meat is bought from the frozen isle.


How to:

Put Ox tail in pressure cooker with water 3/4 way.
Add onion chopped up
peppercorns
large tomato chopped up
salt

Cook for about an hour reducing the fire after the steam comes out.  Turn off fire and wait till pressure has escaped.  (PLEASE, follow the instructions for your pressure cooker).

Add potatoes, carrots, and anything else you might like, and taste for salt.

Cook another 30 min till meat is tender.  Once the steam is released open and add cabbage.  cover and let sit in hot soup for 10-15 min.  No need to cook it.

Serve immediately, or refrigerate and skim off fat. 

My kids love the soup over rice or with buttery toast.  I like small teaspoon of Vegemite or Marmite with my soup.

MMmmmm.. delicious!

shared on Small Footprint Family, Farm Girl Blog Fest